we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Let's paint friendship bongs
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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