Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
