is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
