Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
