Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
