I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
