her vagine was all disorganized.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
