this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
