I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
