so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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