In America we eat man semen.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
