She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
