just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
