Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
