so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
