Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have aggressive nipples.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
