I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
