why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
