I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
