I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
