You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
