Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
