My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Randomize
