i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
