he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
