it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
