I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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