I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
