two words: eviction party
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
