Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
