dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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