i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
