yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
