I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
