i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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