ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
