Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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