good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We got so high we made milksteak
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
