oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
