I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
