i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
