Quick, to the slutcave!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize