I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
