I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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