he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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