I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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