"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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