guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
