just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
