One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
