Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
only if we run a train.
done.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
