I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
