Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
