It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
