no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
