Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
