Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
