i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
