Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
